i

The Threat of the Mummy,

or,

The Mummy Escapes from North Dakota

A Screenplay By

Christopher P. Jacobs

i. INT. MUSEUM DISPLAY. DAY. We see an extreme closeup of a hieroglyphic inscription in limestone. The camera slowly pulls back and we realize it is under glass in a display case. The opening credits dissolve in and out as we see other museum displays of Egyptian artifacts.

DISSOLVE TO

1. EXT. NORTH DAKOTA PRAIRIE LANDSCAPE. DAY. A wide, flat horizon is dotted with shelterbelts, grain elevators, and farms.

DISSOLVE TO

2. EXT. SMALL STATE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS. DAY. Students walk to and from class among buildings with typically college architecture. Diana, Nikki, and Geoff exit a building as Tammy enters it.

3. INT. OFFICE OF COLLEGE PROFESSOR CASEY WALLACE. DAY. Egyptology books, statuettes, and pictures cram shelves and walls. Graduate student TAMERA GARDNER argues with WALLACE.

TAMMY

It’s the only explanation.

WALLACE

I’m sorry. I just can’t agree with you in the least. The whole idea is ridiculous.

TAMMY

But what else can it mean?

WALLACE

A lost formula for immortality? You’ve been reading too much science fiction. You’ve got to interpret any evidence with reason and common sense. You can’t twist it to mean whatever you want. This is real life--not some cheap horror movie.

TAMMY

I know, I know. But I’ve looked at the inscription over and over. I’ve checked every source for my translation. I’ve consulted by e-mail with Egyptologists all over the world.

WALLACE

And?

TAMMY

Some told me the same thing you did, some said it was a unique, intentionally obscure passage, and a few thought I might actually be on to something.

4. INT. MUSEUM EGYPTOLOGY EXHIBIT. DAY.

TAMMY

Look, all I want is the chance to prove or disprove it once and for all.

WALLACE

Even though unwrapping the mummy means destroying the integrity of the artifact?

TAMMY

The potential new knowledge we stand to gain is well-worth the sacrifice. You know the museum board will go along with whatever you recommend. Please.

WALLACE

What does Bob Hobson say about all this?

TAMMY

Well... he said he’d humor me if I got all the necessary clearances.

WALLACE

It’s pretty hard to justify when the school doesn’t even have an official Egyptology program. This is just a history department.

TAMMY

Well, maybe if my dissertation ever gets published you can get better funding. And think of the publicity.

WALLACE

I’m thinking you need this to happen or PhD candidate Tamera Gardner will have to change her topic to get her degree.

TAMMY

I’ll modify it if I have to, but I mean the publicity right now. If we unwrap the mummy, it will get national coverage. I know it.

WALLACE
(weakening)

Possibly. But that could backfire since we have no real specialists in this area. We have to look at this over the long run. I’m not convinced.

TAMMY

Great publicity for the department, the school and the museum. New knowledge in the field. Aren’t you the least bit curious? If that’s not enough, what about… our friendship? Surely that counts for something, Casey.

WALLACE
(giving in)

You know it does, Tammy, even though I think it’s a crazy idea. That’s why I want you to come up with a solid argument that will sway the museum. I’ll meet with the board for you. I think I can get them to go along with it, if you supply me with enough facts and figures to impress them.

TAMMY

Great! Thanks! The outline will be on your desk Monday morning. See you at dinner?

WALLACE

Of course.

5. INT. COFFEE SHOP (or BAR). NIGHT. Diana, Geoff, Nikki, Lori, Jen, Hailey, and several others are reading a local tabloid newspaper announcing the mummy unwrapping. Geoff reads aloud until Diana interrupts.

GEOFF

"Dr. Casey Wallace and PhD candidate Tamera Gardner claim the knowledge gained from the action will greatly outweigh any other concerns."

DIANA

I was afraid of this. I knew she’d convince Wallace to do it. Tammy Gardner’s got that guy wrapped around her little finger.

HAILEY

Or whatever other part of her anatomy she shakes in his face.

DIANA

You got that right. But she even managed to talk Bob into this.

GEOFF

At least Dr. Hobson will make sure they treat the mummy with some dignity. (beat) Don’t you think so, Diana?

DIANA

I still don’t like it.

LORI

It’s disgusting, if you ask me.

JEN

They have no respect for the dead.

LORI

It was bad enough when they let the museum display the body to the public.

DIANA

No, it was bad enough that his body and possessions were stolen from his tomb and sold to some rich tourist as a souvenir.

GEOFF

A tourist who just happened to leave his collection to his alma mater sixty years ago, even though it would have been better off at a real ancient history museum or Egyptology department.

NIKKI

Like most people around here even care. I doubt if your average citizen even knew we had a mummy until all this publicity.

DIANA

Even our history department pretty much forgot it was here until Bob and Wallace joined the faculty. It’s taken this long for the university to do anything with it, it might as well have been back in Egypt all along.

LORI

But the point is, it is here now.

JEN

And until now it’s been resting in peace, more or less.

LORI

Exactly. Unwrapping the mummy will violate his physical being itself, his very flesh.

DIANA

Not to mention his Ka and Ba, and all the spirits that belong to this individual.

NIKKI

Right. This is a human being they’re dealing with. Not just some scientific specimen.

HAILEY

I’m getting bad vibrations from this already. We should organize an official protest, circulate petitions. Maybe it’s not too late to stop it.

6. INT. MUSEUM EGYPTOLOGY DISPLAY. NIGHT. Wallace and Tammy are looking at the wrapped mummy in its open sarcophagus.

WALLACE

Well, tomorrow’s the day. This is your last view of it like this. They take him to the lab in the morning.

TAMMY

Isn’t it exciting? I’ve got this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.

WALLACE

I just hope you won’t be too disappointed when you realize I’ve been right all along.

TAMMY

We’ll see about that.

WALLACE

I avoided mentioning it to the board, but we both know this is a burial from the Graeco-Roman period. The wrappings may look elaborate but their mummification techniques were almost non-existent at times. We may find just a skeleton inside.

7. INT. ANATOMY LAB. DAY. A small crowd, including reporters and a TV news camera, is gathered around a table with the mummy on it. ROBERT HOBSON, wearing a lab coat, prepares to begin the unwrapping.

TV REPORTER

Mummy’s Day comes after Fathers Day this year, Ted. At least it does at this North Dakota university, where officials have approved the unwrapping of a 2000-year-old mummy. Despite protests from several student groups who consider this a desecration of the dead, moments from now the remains of this unidentified ancient Egyptian will see the light of day for the first time in two millennia. Was he a Pharaoh? Was he a priest or a noble? Or was he simply a wealthy businessman who could afford the expensive mummification process? Historians are hoping for a clue beneath the wrappings, possibly in the form of valuable jewelry and amulets that might contain the owner’s name. According to experts, the remains could yield years of testing and research before answers may be found. Let’s take a look now as the first bandages are removed by Dr. Robert Hobson.

Hobson carefully cuts and pulls away a bandage from the head of the mummy. As the strip is gradually unwrapped, the hair is revealed, evoking a gasp from the crowd. A short time later the forehead and then the entire face appears, looking as perfectly preserved as if the body were merely sleeping. Again the crowd murmurs in amazement and awe. Both Tammy and Wallace stare at the body in fascination.

8. INT. TAMMY’S APARTMENT. NIGHT. Tammy and Wallace watch the TV news coverage of the unwrapping with a mixture of amusement, embarrassment, and disgusted disappointment at its approach. There are clips from interviews with various experts, including Wallace and Tammy saying virtually the same things the reporter has already said.

STUDENT 1 (on TV)

It’s pretty interesting, I think.

STUDENT 2 (with Student 1, on TV)

Yeah. I know I’ve always been fascinated by mummies and Egypt--especially after those cool movies.

POLITICIAN 1 (on TV)

This is a good thing that will help promote our community in the world at large.

POLITICIAN 2 (on TV)

I see this as something positive for the city and for the university. It can only enhance our reputation.

ADMINISTRATOR (on TV)

Our faculty and researchers are doing a magnificent job on this.

TAMMY (on TV)

It’s really an amazing discovery. A mummy in such superb condition has never been found before. I can hardly wait until the unwrapping is completed.

TV REPORTER (on TV)

Do you think you’ll find gold inside, like with Tutankhamun?

TAMMY (on TV)

It’s possible. But I’m really hoping there will be a scroll wrapped up with him that will tell us something about him or why he is so well-preserved.

TV REPORTER (on TV)

Thank you, Ms. Gardner. Now, Dr. Wallace, tell us what you’ve learned about the mummy so far.

WALLACE (on TV)

Just that the head is remarkably well-preserved. We’ll know more as the unwrapping continues but it may take years of testing and analysis to reveal its secrets.

TV REPORTER (on TV)

And what is your response to the protests that this project is desecrating the dead?

LORI (on TV)

I think it’s just terrible! A desecration of the dead!

JEN (on TV)

How would you like it if someone dug up your dead relatives and put them on display?

STUDENT (1 or 2--on TV)

Heh... I think it’s pretty cool.

DIANA (on TV)

The soul of this man has been disturbed, and the disturbers will have to answer to the gods of Egypt.

WALLACE (on TV)

We are treating the body with utmost care and respect. A mummy is like a time machine into the ancient past.

MOVIE MAN (on TV)

I sure wish I had the movie rights to this!

GEOFF (on TV)

They should send his remains back to Egypt or at least give him a proper burial here.

WALLACE (on TV)

The immense benefits to scientific knowledge outweigh any concerns by crackpot fanatics.

HAILEY (on TV)

All I can say is that those scientists had better beware. The ancient curses of Egypt last even longer than the mummies. Everyone involved with this project is in danger, unless they perform the sacred rites of reburial.

FILM TEACHER (on TV)

I think all of this would make great material for a screenplay.

TV REPORTER (on TV)

And there you have a cross-section of views. What will really happen, Ted? Time will tell. We’ll keep you posted on future developments. Back to you.

NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)

Thanks Callista. We’ll look forward to your reports as this story continues to unwrap!

WALLACE (turning off TV with remote)

They’re all crazy or idiots or both.

TAMMY

The reporter was as obnoxious as the protesters.

WALLACE

I was including her in my assessment.

TAMMY

I’m glad we waited until the media left to unwrap any further, even if we only got to his waist. I wonder what herbs are in that little vial we found in his left hand. The one in his right looked like olive oil but smelled like some kind of spice.

WALLACE

Whatever they are, the press really would have gone crazy if they knew that they still had a fresh scent.

TAMMY

That’s for sure. I hope Bob’s not too upset we chased them out before going on. He seemed to enjoy the attention. Poor guy, I just realized they didn’t even include his little dissertation to the reporter.

WALLACE

He wasn’t sensational enough for them. In any case, we’d better get some sleep. Tomorrow we’ll finish the unwrapping, and if we find a scroll between the legs as we both suspect, you’ll have a busy day of translating to appease the mobs of reporters. I hear all the networks are flying in correspondents tomorrow.

TAMMY (rolling her eyes)

I can hardly wait. (pause) So, are you... staying here tonight then?

WALLACE

Might not be a bad idea. You’re unlisted. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a reporter camped out in my front yard by morning.

TAMMY

You’re so romantic about it.

WALLACE

Thanks. It’s hereditary.

8.1 INT. ANATOMY LAB. NIGHT. With the room lights off, shadowy figures speaking in excited whispers, just barely recognizable as Geoff, Diana, and the other protestors, enter the room. They tip the mummy case to a horizontal position, hastily rewrap the upper torso of the mummy, lift the mummy into the case, replace the lid, and carry it off.

9. INT. ANATOMY LAB. DAY. A trail of reporters behind them, Tammy and Wallace and some lab technicians enter. They quickly discover the mummy is missing from the examination table, as well as the artifacts they had removed from the wrappings.

TAMMY (aghast)

He’s gone! And the vials and amulets, too! Who could have done this, and why?

WALLACE (concerned)

Hmm... Probably those crazy new-age activists. I wonder why Bob’s not here yet.

The reporters are as speechless as the researchers for a moment, and all at once burst out in a cacophony of questions.

10. INT. TV STUDIO NEWS SET. NIGHT. Video inserts of news footage illustrate the middle of the News Anchor’s report.

NEWS ANCHOR

Researchers expressed stunned disappointment today at the theft of an Egyptian mummy believed to hold the secrets of eternal life. Its unwrapping yesterday revealed an unidentified body, whose pristine condition baffled the experts and further angered burial rights organizations opposing the study of human remains. Duplicate copies of an anonymous note were received this afternoon at the university history department and the city police station. A recently-formed student group claimed responsibility for the action. The body, they asserted, would be given appropriate final rites and buried once and for all at an undisclosed location. The letter had a border of ancient magical symbols and was signed with what authorities have determined are the ancient Egyptian words for "in peace." Scientists voiced concern at what they termed "misguided efforts to deny accessibility to a priceless understanding of our human heritage." Law enforcement officials have the matter under investigation and would not comment on possible leads.

11. INT. MAKESHIFT FUNERAL SANCTUARY. NIGHT. Candles and oil lamps cast an eerie, flickering glow on the surroundings. Banners with ancient Egyptian designs hang about, some homemade, some obviously imported tourist souvenirs. The mummy’s wooden sarcophagus stands on end, the mummy back inside it. The upper half of its body has been hastily re-wrapped. A group of robed people has gathered around the mummy. Some of them are recognizable as protesters interviewed on television; others are history students. Dr. Robert Hobson stands at their center, an imitation leopard skin around his shoulders.

HOBSON
(addressing the others)

This man will rest once more with the performance of the Opening of the Mouth ceremony. Have you brought your copies of the recitations from the Book of Coming Forth By Day?

GEOFF

We have.

The rest of the crowd mumbles its agreement, taking out sheets of paper.

HAILEY

Then let the ritual begin. (To Hobson) Lead us, O Sem Priest.

One of the crowd hands Hobson some ritual instruments, which Hobson waves in a circle as he begins chanting in ancient Egyptian, the congregation responding at the proper cues.

HOBSON

(Opening of the Mouth liturgy)

O ye who cause the perfected souls to enter into the house of Osiris, may ye cause the perfected soul of this Osiris to enter with you into the house of Osiris. (pause)
A setekeni baiu menkhu em per ausar, setekenten ba aqer en ausar –-uaa pen maakheru-- henaa-ten er per ausar.

CONGREGATION

Henaa-ten er per ausar.
Henaa-ten er per ausar.
Henaa-ten er per ausar.
Henaa-ten er per ausar.

DIANA
(Handing Hobson a paper)

Here is the transcription of the text inside the coffin.

HOBSON (Reads text in ancient Egyptian, with English subtitles)

Sedjemef mi sedjemi. Ahaaf mi ahaai. Hemsef mi hemsi. A uniu uat apui maatennu en baiu menkhu em per en ausar, un areftennef uat. Apu areften maaqtennu enef. Daak nef ref. Daak per embahh her khaut ten, ii aaq em netcher-khert.
May he hear as I hear. May he see as I see. May he stand as I stand. May he sit as I sit. O openers of the way and openers of the roads to perfected souls in the house of Osiris, open therefore to him the way. Open therefore the roads to him. Give him a mouth. Give him a coming forth in the presence at this altar, a going-in and a coming-out from Ntecher-khert.

CONGREGATION

Daak per embahh her khaut ten.
Daak per embahh her khaut ten.
Daak per embahh her khaut ten.
Daak per embahh her khaut ten. Give him a coming forth in the presence at this altar.

Unnoticed by the crowd, the mummy stirs slightly as Hobson begins this new text. The head wrappings also loosen a bit. Then Hobson pulls on the wrappings around the mouth with one of his instruments. Someone hands him some herbs and he pushes them into the mummy’s mouth while continuing his incantations. The longer they chant, the more the mummy fidgets and the looser the head wrappings become. Finally the eyes are visible, though still closed.